advice you never thought you'd need to hear

• never turn your back on an open box of cereal
• never give your kids play dough before breakfast. never
• if you give it to them FOR breakfast...be prepared to serve them gallons of water
• k'nex look a lot like q-tips
• never make more chocolate chip cookies than you are prepared to eat yourself. play dough tastes better
•  eat ALL the cookies for breakfast so the kids don't develop bad habits like you
•  NEVER give your kids metal cookie cutters for their play dough, unless you want a christmas tree scar on the bottom of your foot for the rest of your life.
• never tell your 2nd grader the answers to her history are in the back of the book
• if you tell your children you are running away to the circus, you'd better plan on taking one or two with you
• puppies are cute, but not so much at three a.m.
• children's art makes great fire starter in a pinch just ask @mellonplus8
• if you take one teeeeny weeeeny cushion off the couch to make room for toddler it instantly becomes fort time! also compliments of @mellonplus8
• kids only nap when its time to put their laundry away
• size 2T pants pockets hold A LOT of play dough
• grape heads taste like motor oil
• make sure your flip flops are the same color before you close the door behind you, if you don't you'll never go back to change them
• butterfingers and coffee make a delicious breakfast
• coffee is never safe, no matter where you leave it, the toddler always finds it
• chinese food is really hard to clean off the bottom of the fridge
• pancakes are awesome lunch, till the syrup happens
• never wash the floor unless you are prepared to mop up a whole gallon of milk
• if there is a mud puddle, just tell the kids to step in it and get it over with
• there is no such think as an even number of socks. socks come in threes
• if your mama knits, you'll never be able to find a hat that fits your head

yes, these are all things i've learned from past experiences...believe me.

•