Friday, November 12, 2010

advice you never thought you'd need to hear

  • never turn your back on an open box of cereal
  • never give your kids play dough before breakfast. never
  • if you give it to them FOR prepared to serve them gallons of water
  • k'nex look a lot like q-tips
  • never make more chocolate chip cookies than you are prepared to eat yourself. play dough tastes better
  •  eat ALL the cookies for breakfast so the kids don't develop bad habits like you
  •  NEVER give your kids metal cookie cutters for their play dough, unless you want a christmas tree scar on the bottom of your foot for the rest of your life.
  • never tell your 2nd grader the answers to her history are in the back of the book
  • if you tell your children you are running away to the circus, you'd better plan on taking one or two with you
  • puppies are cute, but not so much at three a.m.
  • children's art makes great fire starter in a pinch just ask @mellonplus8
  • if you take one teeeeny weeeeny cushion off the couch to make room for toddler it instantly becomes fort time! also compliments of @mellonplus8
  • kids only nap when its time to put their laundry away
  • size 2T pants pockets hold A LOT of play dough
  • grape heads taste like motor oil
  • make sure your flip flops are the same color before you close the door behind you, if you don't you'll never go back to change them
  • butterfingers and coffee make a delicious breakfast
  • coffee is never safe, no matter where you leave it, the toddler always finds it
  • chinese food is really hard to clean off the bottom of the fridge
  • pancakes are awesome lunch, till the syrup happens
  • never wash the floor unless you are prepared to mop up a whole gallon of milk
  • if there is a mud puddle, just tell the kids to step in it and get it over with
  • there is no such think as an even number of socks. socks come in threes
  • if your mama knits, you'll never be able to find a hat that fits your head
yes, these are all things i've learned from past experiences...believe me.



  1. This lifted my spirits... you are a riot!

  2. i thought of another...
    if you wash all the sheets, it's guaranteed that *somebody* will wet the bed.